Celiac

I have been really sick for the last few months, vomiting, diahrea (tmi?) and feeling just generally shitty. After countless trips to the hospital, doctor and anyone else who will listen nobody seemed to be able to tell me what the problem was. I finally went for my last test right before Xmas and got the results on Friday. I am celiac. This sucks.

I must be gluten-free for the rest of my days. Me...the woman who loves crusty italian bread almost as much as she loves her family. No more sourdough bread at the Keg. No more plate of pasta with butter and parmesan. I now have to read every lable of everything that goes into my mouth (hold your comments) well, almost anything that goes into my mouth. I am not looking forward to this journey.

On the bright side, I will probably start feeling alot better, and I am also on some vitamin supplements to get my iron and B12 back up to where it should be. If anyone out there has any advice, or great recipe sites, please give me a hollar and let me know. I am already craving cookies or brownies or something equally yummy!

Mint Chocolate Kisses

I bought a bag of mint chocolate kisses today for the kids. I thought, hmmmm, before I give it to them I will try one.

I ate the whole bag and the kids didn't even know I had bought them a treat.

I feel sick to my stomach and I have no one to blame but myself, that much chocolate can't be good for anyone :(

Alien Children

Last night the weather here was FREEZING. That being said,my children were going stir crazy, so we bundled up and went outside to play. The boys got these lazer type guns that makes lots of noise and light up and I must admit are pretty cool.

After spending half an hour in the backyard we decided to "fight the aliens" that had invaded our neighborhood (my children do not lack imagination lol) Rolling behind mounds of snow, dodging and hiding from cars driving by, shooting their lazer guns at my parents house down the road are all things that kept us outside an additional 45 minutes.

We decided to return to the mother ship (our house) and have some hot cocoa and apple cider. We came into the house and took off our snow clothes only to have Twink A start screaming and holding his wrist, Twink B ran over to investigate...they came to the conclusion that he was bitten by alien hatchlings on our travels and that both of them would now become alien children. Oh the horror! I discovered he just had frost bite, lol.

The Guilt

I have started working pretty much full time hours over the last few months, juggling being a mom, a wife, a busy entrepreneur, and I have come to the conclusion that no matter how I split my time, I will be forever guilt ridden.

If I let my work slide and spend it with the kids and hubby, I feel guilty for not giving my all to my career (or my one day carerr lol). If I spend more time working I feel really GUILTY for letting my work get in the way of my family. I have spoken to lots of mom's out there that have worked since their kids were born and they tell me that there is no happy medium. This sucks.

I was so happy with my decision to be a stay at home mom, then when the boys started going to school full time, I thought, okay now I get to pickup my career where I left off. I don't really know how to fit it in though.

I drop the kids off to school at 8:20am, rush home, tidy up breakfast dishes, throw a load of laundry in, get my work out, work until 11:15am pick them up for lunch, throw lunch in their faces, get them back out the door for 12:15pm, come home work until 2:40pm, pick the boys up from school, feed them after school snacks, do homework, prepare dinner, serve dinner, clean up dinner, run baths get jammies on them, read them a bedtime story, tuck them in...then it is time to be a good wife and listen to DH's day, cuddle for a little bit, maybe squeeze in some SEX :)By then I am exhausted. I have started to get up at 4:45am to work in some piece and quiet until around 7:am.

If someone out there in internet space has an answer on how to juggle these things around, or how to just stop feeling guilty...please let me in on the secret. Thanks...

New Year

It is a new year and I hope it will be a good one. I have been a bad blogger the last few months...actually a non-existant blogger. I am going to try and blog on a more consistent basis this year. I have a few New Years' Resolutions

1. Blog on a more consistent basis

2. Be a better wife/mother

3. Lose a few more pounds (this has been part of my New Year's Resolutions since I was 12)

They appear in random order, so you all do not think that number 1 is more important than number 2 lol.

well, hope to write again soon! Happy New Years to everyone, may 2009 be your year :)

October

It is definately October. Today the sky is kind of gray and cloudy, the wind is blowing, it is really cool (about 11degress celsius) and seems like the perfect day for a bubbling stew. I love October. It is my mostest favourite month of the year. I love that the leaves change colour. I love going for hikes and listening to the leaves crunch under my feet. I love going apple picking and I definately love baking those apples in yummy desserts.

Merry October everyone!

Thankful

I am feeling so very thankful today. I don't know why, I just had one of those moments today. A moment where I felt like I was out of my body looking down at my family and I. We weren't doing anything that we normally wouldn't. We were having our coffee (the twinks their juice) out on the back deck, Twink A snuggled up with DH and Twink B snuggled up with me, discussing what our plans were for the day. My eyes filled up with tears when I thought about how lucky we are. It was the kind of moment where I just wanted the world to stop and to live in that moment forever.

Everyone in our family is healthy, relatively happy and we are together. So many families can't say that and it breaks my heart. Often times life gets in the way of me realizing how fortunate I am. When meetings with the teacher (which went well by the way lol), work, housework and other "stuff" become somewhat overwhelming I often forget that I should thank God for having the family that I do.

Okay, I will stop gushing now. I just felt today that I have been worrying over things that really don't matter. Work (other than the paycheque attached to it lol) doesn't matter. Having a "marthastewartsupercleanyoucaneatoffanysurface" house doesn't matter. What matters most was sitting around me this morning while I was enjoying my hot cup of coffee. That is what counts.