Last Week Of Summer...Prepare for Upcoming Nervous Breakdown

It already feels like back to school weather. That makes me a little sad inside. My boys will be going to grade one this year. sniff sniff.

I don't know what I am going to do with myself. This will be the first time in their lives that they will be going to school every day from Monday to Friday and be gone all day long. 30 hours a week! I am going to miss them like crazy. Lots of mom's keep telling me,"don't worry, once you get a taste of freedom you are going to LOVE having them in school all day". But I don't think I will.

I like doing things with my boys. I like sharing the days with them, they are just mine then. DH works so it is just my alone time with them. Now I am going to have to share them with all kinds of other people. Teachers, friends, sniff sniff sniff.

I probably sound like a whiny overprotective mother, and that isn't how I feel. I just feel that they are ready to take this step and I am not, kind of like being left behind. I know that is what parenting is about. Preparing them for these steps and hoping that you did a good enough job that they can take that step without any problems or worries. I just never realized that I wouldn't be ready for those steps.

I had a moment of panic when I realized this. My first instinct was to ask DH if he wanted to have another baby...he thinks I am on crack. lol. I called my mom and she reassured me that this was just another blip in the radar of life and that this was a normal feeling. My mom is awesome, I am so glad that we are close and that she is there to reassure me in my parenting woes. DH just doesn't understand. I can't blame him, we have different experiences parenting our boys. I am the stay at home mom, part of me is defined by that, he works all day and by the boys being at school it won't change the amount of time he sees them. To him things aren't changing much. My whole world feels like it is changing and it is taking me a few moments to find my new spot in it.

Now I am rambling, I will stop now (for your sake lol) and try to find some laundry that will make me feel needed.